星期三, 八月 05, 2009

心路


看了“心路之旅”,心中有很多涟漪。
成长,是一个那么漫长的旅程。
走对方向了吗?这似乎只是自己非常个人的看法。



这一趟人生的列车,每个人都只有一次的机会去选择目的地。
看着和自己一样坐在这列车的朋友,他们又做了决定吗?他们的眼神有在透露些什么吗?
从镜子的反射下望见了自己,迷茫的自己。在思考着你们也在思考的问题。

成长总是那么的自然,没有得勉强,没有得逃避。
纵使我们多么抗拒成长,时间还是一样会不停的走,不停地在催促我们向前走。
我们没有选择停下脚步的权利。
或许,当我们走过一些日子,有了一些经历,就会开始爱上生活的每一分,每一秒。

坦白说,在十八岁那年失去我的老爸,是我有生以来最大的痛苦。
这痛现今还会隐隐作疼。受到刺激时还会流血。
我不懂这伤口几时可以愈合。只是不会再去想那么多,过去的就让它过去。

平常除了跟爸爸聊聊心事,谈谈天,爸爸其实是我精神上的支柱。
从小到大,爸爸总是一直陪伴着我成长。我跌倒时,他会伸出他的双手扶我一把。
虽然他什么都没说,但我懂他一直在鼓励着我。
以往不管有再多的风风雨雨,爸爸总是陪着我走过。
那一年突然失去了他,家里的每一位成员都很不习惯。
或许你们会说我是疯了,但我不怕你们知道,我现在有时会对着空气说话,而对象是我爸爸。
我会告诉他我要考试了,我要出远门了,我今天不高兴等。。。
这是我对他思念的一种舒缓方式。。。
不管他是否听见,我懂他会一直支持我去做对的事情。

成长中总是要做出很多的选择,而自己就只能凭着感觉走。
希望自己做的选择是对的。而自己也必须为这选择负上责任。
还好自己没有抗拒成长,也能接受身边所发生的一切。
而每件事情的余温,就会陪着自己,成为回忆的一部分。

回望过去的两年,自己真的长大了不少。
开始必须为家里的事情操心,开始必须为家里的一切打算。
我承认我并没有作得很好,不过我有一直很努力的在做。
原本不属于我的责任,一夜之间就落到我头上来。
而自己现在也慢慢习惯了,而它们也不再是一种负担。
更重要的是,我体会到了家庭的重要。
所以有时到朋友家吃饭时,会羡慕他们一家可以完整地坐在一起吃饭,聊天。
对我而言,这些都只是回忆。所幸我还拥有这一些回忆!



日子和时间总是走得那么快。
希望自己在乘搭人生列车时,身边还是可以有你们这一班朋友陪伴着。
这样,我的心可以常常都是温暖的。

星期六, 八月 01, 2009

Tagged by James

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
dint go for any prom before

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
i think YES

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Chivas if im not mistaken

4. What was your FIRST job?
Sales Assistant at PDI Gurney Plaza

5. What was your FIRST car?
Nissan Sunny 1.3

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Andy Loh

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
Im not sure about this

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Lee Bee Ling

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
Singapore

10. Who was your FIRST best friend?
Javin

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
CLHSCO's activity while i'm F3..

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Calvin Yap

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
forgot already...

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
deactivate my alarm

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

forgot already...too much of concert i went before...

16. FIRST tattoo?
nono...

17. FIRST piercing?
nono....

18. FIRST foreign country you've gone to?
Singapore

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
no idea..

20. When was your FIRST detention?
never.. XD

22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
roommate during nasional service can? but it is too many to list out...

23. If you had one wish, what would it be?
my dad is still here with us...

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
too many to list out..

25. Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for you/ you asked to marry?
who knows?

26. What was the first sport you were involved in?
jogging & swimming

27. What were the first lessons you ever took?
no idea...

28. What is the first thing you do when you get home?
take off my watch...

29. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?

no one...

灿烂烟火


(Bon Odori 2009)


曾几何时,和家人一起站在旷阔的大草场上一起观看灿烂的烟火。
那时心里的感觉是澎湃的,是激动地。
那是第一次那么近距离的观看烟火。
那时还小,也不懂想得那么多,只懂自己很高兴,很兴奋。

隔了好多年后,又站在同一片的草场上,只不过这一次陪伴在身边的是一班朋友。
当烟火在寂静的长空里绽放时,大家的呼唤声彼起彼落,自己的心情也随之高涨。
虽然烟火的灿烂是短暂的,不过感动是绵长的。
原来不需要跟情人一起观看烟火,也是可以很感动,很幸福的。